To paraphrase Mariah Carey, all I want for Christmas is to ride a velociraptor into battle against a legion of Vikings trying to assault my precious fortress in Ipswich. Thanks to the magic of Father Christmas and developer Northplay, my Christmas wish has come true. The time-travelling adventure Dinolords may sound like a whimsical fantasy, but its latest alpha test indicates it has the potential to secure a spot among the best RTS games on PC.
Gameplay and Mechanics
While the concept of medieval rulers discovering frozen dinosaur eggs might seem far-fetched, players are not drawn to Dinolords for its historical accuracy. The allure lies in the thrill of charging into battle atop a velociraptor or a heavily-armored ankylosaurus, wielding teeth, claws, and an enormous, club-like tail.
For those intrigued by the narrative, there is lore to support this delightful chaos. The game is set against the backdrop of Sweyn Forkbeard’s invasion of England, accompanied by defrosted dinosaurs, while Æthelred the Unready sends his son on a quest to uncover the secrets of the Jurassic period. This thoughtful context adds depth to the otherwise absurd premise of Dinolords.
From a gameplay perspective, the mechanics function surprisingly well. Like any respectable RTS, Dinolords requires players to balance combat tactics with army management. Players must strategically deploy their forces across the battlefield, reinforcing weak points while launching attacks. Dinosaurs, while formidable assets, do not dominate the battlefield without consequence. For instance, charging into a horde of Vikings while mounted on a raptor can quickly deplete health, and getting too close to an angry ankylosaurus can result in a swift and punishing tail attack that leaves players vulnerable.
City-Building Elements
The game also incorporates city-building elements typical of the genre. There is a sense of realism, as dinosaurs do not lend a hand in repairing walls, but players must remain vigilant about maintaining their structures to keep troops satisfied. It’s likely that in the full version, these prehistoric creatures will require a steady supply of goats or similar sustenance to thrive.
What could have easily been a throwaway game, crafted merely for laughs and to capitalize on a humorous concept, has instead been developed with genuine care by Northplay. The result is not only a fun experience—something that was expected—but also a surprisingly balanced one.
While it seems unlikely that Dinolords will meet its original goal of launching in early access by 2025, my few hours of gameplay have left me content to wait as long as necessary. The joy of dinosaurs in medieval warfare was always going to bring a smile to my face, but the game also challenged me to think tactically, treating my prehistoric mounts as I would any contemporary siege engine. Most importantly, I’m grateful that Santa delivered it early, providing me with a delightful distraction after the kids are tucked in on Christmas Eve.
