The decline of Destiny 2 has sparked considerable debate among gaming enthusiasts, with many labeling it as one of the most significant missteps in entertainment history. While various factors contributed to its downfall, much of the community’s frustration has been directed at Pete Parsons, the former CEO of Bungie, who stepped down in August 2025 amid dwindling player sentiment and increasing pressure from Sony. A particularly memorable farewell message from a player encapsulated this sentiment: “I hope all your cars break down,” showcasing a rare moment of unity within the community.
A Playful Retort
In an unexpected twist, the disdain for Parsons has culminated in a humorous homage to the game’s legacy—a final raid designed to poke fun at him. This initiative, crafted by the parody account Pete Carsons on X, invites players to engage in “The Vault of Cars,” a clever nod to Destiny’s inaugural raid, The Vault of Glass.
Players are challenged with the question: “Do you have what it takes to face Pete Carsons in the Vault of Cars and stop him from purchasing all of the remaining cars in The Last City?” It’s a query that no dedicated Destiny player would likely dismiss.
This browser-based game opens with a comedic portrayal of Pete Parsons, initially speaking in a Canadian accent reminiscent of South Park, before transforming into the formidable flying machine known as the Destroyer of Guardians. The satire is evident, yet the game incorporates genuine mechanics inspired by its source material:
- Players fling tomatoes at a collection of classic cars humorously named Micro Management, Crunch Enforcer, and Bankruptcy Expert to accumulate the Contaminated Fuel buff.
- They navigate a parody of the iconic Oracles puzzle from the original Vault of Glass.
- Players must defeat the powerful Investors summoned by Pete for assistance.
- Finally, they hurl tomatoes at Pete Carsons until their Guardian’s Desire buff is depleted, requiring them to repeat the process.
In true Bungie fashion, the parody account organized a “World’s First” completion event for this faux raid, requiring participants to submit video evidence of their successful runs, including the climactic cutscene. Remarkably, just two hours post-launch, the account announced that players had completed the raid and were in the process of verifying submissions: “Please give us some time to review all the submissions to verify which came first.” Unfortunately, there was no coveted raid belt for the victorious player to commemorate their achievement.
